My first gay bar … Cafe San Marcos … isn’t that everyone’s first gay bar??

So … this morning … as I was walking my dog, Lucky … I chuckled to myself about the completely inappropriate gay joke that I posted on my last blog entry.

I laughed at myself for a couple of reasons … the first reason being … that at 35 years old … I still find such tasteless jokes funny … the second reason being … about how ’breeders’ (straight people) … seem to be FASCINATED with anal sex. It truly seems to me … that straight people talk and joke about anal sex more than any gay men I’ve ever hung out with. So often … straight guys will boast … about how they try they get women to ‘do anal’ … these men talk about it … like it’s some sort of holy grail. Funny funny straight boys.

So … along with the misconception that gay sex is all about anal sex … my mind drifted to the fears and ridiculous ideas that straight people have about gay bars. I mean … if I walked into a bar … and the bar stools were turned upside down … I would just figure that the bar was closed … bah ha!! But seriously … for anyone who hasn’t been to a gay bar … I seriously recommend the experience … you might actually enjoy yourself … not because it means you are secretly a homo … RATHER … you might just relax … and let go of your fears and myths of the gay community.

I went to my first gay bar … when I was 24 … I went with my ’then-girlfriend’ … Shirin. I believe that she was 18 at the time … and ironically … she had been going to this bar … Cafe San Marcos … for quite some time before I ever met her. It was pretty ironic that my girlfriend … who was still in high school at the time … bah ha … had soooo much more ‘life experience’ than me … when it came to this sort of urban outing. I used to joke that Shirin was the ‘designated lesbian’ … ha … that’s funny that I can remember that! I haven’t thought of that for years!!

I WISH I had a picture of me in my outfit from that night!!! Please keep in mind … this is a total early 90’s outfit … tight BONGO jeans … a ‘velvet-type’ body suit … that was a mock turtlenck … with big holes where the shoulders would be … and those shoes from back in the day that looked like boots … do you remember those??

So … anyways … my lasting memory of that night … was how ‘free’ how I felt to be there … NOT just because I was a budding lesbian … but … also because I was able to look men in the eye … from across the dance floor … without worrying that they were going to think I wanted them to pick up on me. It seemed like everyone who was there … regardless of sexuality … was there to dance … and party … and be free. It truly was a liberating experience.

If you have been to a gay bar … then I’m guessing you know what I’m talking about … when I mention this ‘freedom’. If you haven’t been to a gay bar … then … go to Cafe San Marcos … and let me know what you think.

- Bertha